Thursday, October 26, 2006
Brutality is Presuming
Brutality. It is a noun that means viciousness or doing wicked acts towards someone. I can totally relate to this word. Whether it is I who's being rough or I'm the one experiencing it. Sometimes, people are unaware that they're cruel. They joke around individuals who tend to take these things seriously because of the intensity of the given ridicule. People who take jokes seriously experience brutality and you certainly can’t blame them. Brutality is also manifested in the workplace. When the boss endlessly orders his staff to work on things that are impossible to finish in a day and the employee chitchats his superior's weakness and personal life to fellow workers. Brutality also infects friendships. You secretly dated your bestfriend's girlfriend while disclosing unlikable things about him. And when you already got what you wanted and the girl's head over heels for you, things will suddenly turnaround as if nothing happened. Being cruel to your pet is also possible, just last week, we lynched our pet dog 'icko' to prevent probable deaths in the house. He already bit our maids three times, killed two cats and we have no choice but to end the assaults (hehe) since the vet told us that the sickness is irreversible. it's like mercy killing. Go, report me to PAWS. These are all examples of brutality. But there's this one kind of viciousness that can totally put someone down. LOVE.I'm not saying that loving is bad. It is a cherished gift to humanity that would keep things together. But what if the love you once treasured came to a point when it is gradually decaying into the slums of enduring pain and is resulting in the slaughter of self-respect? What if you tried to hang onto someone even though you have a gut feeling that the person's not coming back? What if she's saying that you're selfish though it's the other way around? Isn't it frustrating to hear stupid reasons of why either of you can't be together or why do you have to end something that has already started? Why do you have to bear the pain of wishing that that someone is thinking of you when in reality, she doesn't even think of you in a day or two. Why do you always have to be 'JUST' an option? These ifs and why's all boil down to Brutality and when it's already eating you, all you have to do are these simple things. Take a pill, sleep at it for a day, cry for awhile, stand-up and move on. Remember, fighting for something that would make you happy isn't bad. But when everything's already lucid that you lost the war, accept it and start once more. And one last thing, be 'brutal' to yourself that you shouldn't commit the same mistake again.
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2:12 AM
Sunday, October 22, 2006
grad.day.insights
it was the 14th of october..when i realized that my journey has ended. no more lazy early wakeups to prepare for school, no more cramming to finish a critical paper an hour before the deadline, no more fuck-ups with mentors and professors, no more cutting of classes, no more 'yosi' breaks and 'inuman' sessions in between classes, no more study groups that usually end with a dvd marathon, no more backstabbing, no more silly joking with peers, no more take two's, no more glances with crushes(oh its soo highschool), no more scholastic overnights, no more kickbacks, no more sweating of palms while in a graded recitation because i didnt study. No matter how stupid these things are, i will definitely miss doing them. I will miss my college friends (who taught me to do a lot of daft things) and every experience we've shared. teardrop. but then, i realized, pwede ulit natin gawin yan out of school. almost every week naman tayo gumigimmick!! wahaha!! *evil smile*seriously, college taught me a lot of things, from pleasant to terrible ones. but im very sure that i won't regret anything. coz at one point, that is what i wanted.but now that im working..i had another realization.college is so far removed from real life. college teaches theorotical things. after college, sheltered life ends and reality crashes in. just when you think you're ready, it grabs you by the balls and squeezes tight until you can't breathe.wow..nag-aamok!!*victoria duldulao maraming salamat!
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7:25 AM
Saturday, October 21, 2006
cerveza.negra
*i wrote this the saturday after 'milenyo' cracked the roof of our laundry house.
after almost half a year of ignoring the blog world, i finally gave in to the urge of posting something to dispose these thoughts inside my mind. today's day 2 of the luzon blackout and this setup is already eating me! No TV, radio, access to running water, proper ventillation (walang aircon! shyet! oks lng) and NO INTERNET! why do we depend so much on electricity when it outrageously harms when its out?! pero ok lang ulit, coz the only positive thing it caused was it gave me the drive to write in a blog again..(itype ko 'to pag my electricity na..wahehe)
this morning, i went to maxine's dedication (kuya mark's cute, 7 month old baby). The 'binyag' was nice since it was held on the hotel's penthouse. The crispy noodles and the lechon baka was great. UMagang umaga may mga hard drinks din..so ako, di na naman naka-resist. oh my, i think im becoming an alcoholic! nah..i promised that i won't. Another interesting idea i had during the dedication was the number of godparents. Ang dami!! and this alsomade me feel a little sad..why? coz when i counted them, i realized that i never had a single godparent.
i don't know what my parents were thinking when they decided not to get me godparents. i never experienced getting gifts from ninongs and ninangs every christmas and damn, i missed something a kid's supposed to experience. hay..nag-aamok na ako!! but i think, i really have a point coz having godparents was something i was deprived of. good thing i didnt become a problem child. wahaha!! really huh..ask sally and jerry. :P
After the binyag, i wnet with joseph and calvin to greenbelt to hangout a little.from the coffee session (where issues with the 'it' girls were brought up), we ended up shopping for clothes that joseph could wear to work that night. im glad to find a white polo and a green shirt that suit joseph very well. poging pogi na. hahaha. we decided to end the day by slurping some drinks. since it was still early, drinking at citrus would be inappropriate so we settled at giligan's. there, i attentively listened to joseph's wedding plans next year. i was like a gradeschool student listening while i picture each word that comes out of his mouth. as i could remember, i mentioned in my old blog that i want to be a wedding planner. wahaha!! im still clinging on to that ambition though i already found a new path of being a graphic designer.
anyway, the career story is way out of the topic so i better save these thoughts for another log. ang araw na ito ay masaya kahit walang kuryente. nga pala, ang init sa glorietta! nakakainis! wahaha!! seriously, today's nice coz i was able to look into another side of life that i'm pretty sure i'd be experiencing in a not too distant future. haay..ang haba na ng log na nito at wala paring kuryente!! thanks to the people who accompanied me the whole day..and joseph, you owe me coz i introduced you to your new favorite, cerveza negra.
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9:15 AM
